About the Smoking...
This is an email that I wrote to few friends of mine this morning. Last night we went out to dinner for Lisa's birthday at The Inman Park Patio, and I made made fun of a few smoker's while who stepped outside to smoke while we were there. I decided to write to them to explain and appologize this morning, and I think that the text is also something that anyone reading this blog who smokes should read too. Here's the email text:
Hi Guys – Please read this entire email – it will be uncomfortable, but it’s very important to me that you read it all the way thorugh.
I wanted to apologize to you guys for my lashing out last night about the whole smoking thing at Lisa’s birthday dinner at The Patio. I know that I’m being hypocritical and unfair in telling you guys to quit smoking. I want to explain my thought process on the whole thing – not to justify my actions though, just to let you know what I’m thinking as your friend. I also want you to know that my family isn’t immune from this ridicule either – I’ve given my Dad and Brother a real hard time with the smoking too. When you get down to it though, it’s none of my business what anyone else does with their lives and I recognize that. I’m also going to copy the text of this email to my blog for everyone else, smoker and non-smoker alike, to see.
Before all of this cancer stuff started I had smoked for about 12 years. I had quit dozens of times for stretches up to 5 months, and had always somehow justified starting again. Nicotine is an evil bitch-god, I’m sure we can all agree on that. I enjoyed smoking – I know that I still would enjoy smoking if I started again, but now I realize that I’m mortal and this whole life thing is finite and cancer=chemo=extreme pain. Here’s the bottom line: I don’t understand how anyone who knows me could see the pain and the hell that I’m going through, and continue to do something that will not only most likely give them cancer, but will give them a worse cancer than I have.
I have a 10% chance of dieing from my cancer and it scared the hell out of me until last Monday when I got the news that we’re kicking the cancers ass, and therefore it would be very very strange for it to make a comeback and kill me, but – if you develop lung cancer, those odds are reversed and you have a 90% chance of dieing and also a 60% chance of dieing within a year of being diagnosed – it’s much more likely that you will die than that you will survive, and it’s more likely that you will go quickly and not even have the chance to fight.
Googled Stats from credible sources, paraphrased here:
• You have a 50% chance of dieing from smoking-related diseases if you continue to smoke. Tobacco use is the number one preventable cause of death in Americans.
• If you get screened every year for lung cancer, there’s an 80% chance that you’ll catch it at an early enough stage to save your life. Any of you do that? Didn’t think so…
• Smoking causes 90% of lung cancer deaths.
• If a non-smoker spends 6-8 hours per day with a smoker, the non-smoker’s chances of developing lung cancer rise to between 20% and 40%.
• 60% of lung cancer victims die within one year of being diagnosed.
I’ve heard all the excuses and hell, I’ve used most of them myself in the past.
• Fact is that it’s great for your general health to exercise 30 minutes per day, but there isn’t a trade-system where you can excuse something like smoking because of it. It just doesn’t work that way – you’re sucking carcinogens, one of the worst cancer-causing agents known to man, directly into your lungs – no amount of cardio will help that.
• Smoking is pleasurable – chemically it makes you feel real good in the brain – living to see your great-grandchildren has to be more pleasurable. I can say with authority that chemo is not pleasurable at all.
• True, the last 10 years of all of our lives are more than likely not going to be the most comfortable decade for any of us, and we are all going to die of something, but this is not what you want to die from. Cancer beckons Chemo which causes some of the worst pain and suffering I’ve ever gone through – If I were in my 70’s instead of in my 20’s, I might not have made it this far. 104 degree temperatures and not eating for a few days gets less survivable as you get older, as does a zero white blood cell count – that’s how people die from the flu.
• If you have children and you smoke around them, I will kick your ass when I get my strength back. Not only are you sacrificing their health, you are making a subconscious impression on them that tells them smoking is OK. There are no exceptions or excuses.
• If smoking is your one vice in life and that makes you feel OK about it, get a new vice. Make your new vice running or biking or beating up people – anything is better than the smoking. Well, not anything, but you get the idea.
• Life is short and you should do what you want to do, but smoking will make your life shorter and more painful toward the end even if it doesn’t cause the end – there is no question about it.
I know that ex-smokers are the worst at smoking lectures, but I’m honestly coming to you not as an ex-smoker, but as a cancer survivor. I don’t wish this stuff on my worst enemy, much less my best friends. I love you guys and anything I can do to extend our time together is important to me. Please, take a deep breath, and take a few minutes to re-read this email and really let this stuff sink in – I’m not making it up and it does apply to you. I will continue to ridicule you as long as you continue to smoke, not because I’m an ass ( I have other reasons for being an ass ), but because anything I can do to knock you down a little bit and remind you that this is the worst decision you can make in regards to your health – anything that I can do to extend our short time together, I will do and I will continue to do out of love.
Thanks for reading an uncomfortable email – I don’t expect it to be life-changing, but I can always hope that it might help in some way.
:Bill McDaniel
Hi Guys – Please read this entire email – it will be uncomfortable, but it’s very important to me that you read it all the way thorugh.
I wanted to apologize to you guys for my lashing out last night about the whole smoking thing at Lisa’s birthday dinner at The Patio. I know that I’m being hypocritical and unfair in telling you guys to quit smoking. I want to explain my thought process on the whole thing – not to justify my actions though, just to let you know what I’m thinking as your friend. I also want you to know that my family isn’t immune from this ridicule either – I’ve given my Dad and Brother a real hard time with the smoking too. When you get down to it though, it’s none of my business what anyone else does with their lives and I recognize that. I’m also going to copy the text of this email to my blog for everyone else, smoker and non-smoker alike, to see.
Before all of this cancer stuff started I had smoked for about 12 years. I had quit dozens of times for stretches up to 5 months, and had always somehow justified starting again. Nicotine is an evil bitch-god, I’m sure we can all agree on that. I enjoyed smoking – I know that I still would enjoy smoking if I started again, but now I realize that I’m mortal and this whole life thing is finite and cancer=chemo=extreme pain. Here’s the bottom line: I don’t understand how anyone who knows me could see the pain and the hell that I’m going through, and continue to do something that will not only most likely give them cancer, but will give them a worse cancer than I have.
I have a 10% chance of dieing from my cancer and it scared the hell out of me until last Monday when I got the news that we’re kicking the cancers ass, and therefore it would be very very strange for it to make a comeback and kill me, but – if you develop lung cancer, those odds are reversed and you have a 90% chance of dieing and also a 60% chance of dieing within a year of being diagnosed – it’s much more likely that you will die than that you will survive, and it’s more likely that you will go quickly and not even have the chance to fight.
Googled Stats from credible sources, paraphrased here:
• You have a 50% chance of dieing from smoking-related diseases if you continue to smoke. Tobacco use is the number one preventable cause of death in Americans.
• If you get screened every year for lung cancer, there’s an 80% chance that you’ll catch it at an early enough stage to save your life. Any of you do that? Didn’t think so…
• Smoking causes 90% of lung cancer deaths.
• If a non-smoker spends 6-8 hours per day with a smoker, the non-smoker’s chances of developing lung cancer rise to between 20% and 40%.
• 60% of lung cancer victims die within one year of being diagnosed.
I’ve heard all the excuses and hell, I’ve used most of them myself in the past.
• Fact is that it’s great for your general health to exercise 30 minutes per day, but there isn’t a trade-system where you can excuse something like smoking because of it. It just doesn’t work that way – you’re sucking carcinogens, one of the worst cancer-causing agents known to man, directly into your lungs – no amount of cardio will help that.
• Smoking is pleasurable – chemically it makes you feel real good in the brain – living to see your great-grandchildren has to be more pleasurable. I can say with authority that chemo is not pleasurable at all.
• True, the last 10 years of all of our lives are more than likely not going to be the most comfortable decade for any of us, and we are all going to die of something, but this is not what you want to die from. Cancer beckons Chemo which causes some of the worst pain and suffering I’ve ever gone through – If I were in my 70’s instead of in my 20’s, I might not have made it this far. 104 degree temperatures and not eating for a few days gets less survivable as you get older, as does a zero white blood cell count – that’s how people die from the flu.
• If you have children and you smoke around them, I will kick your ass when I get my strength back. Not only are you sacrificing their health, you are making a subconscious impression on them that tells them smoking is OK. There are no exceptions or excuses.
• If smoking is your one vice in life and that makes you feel OK about it, get a new vice. Make your new vice running or biking or beating up people – anything is better than the smoking. Well, not anything, but you get the idea.
• Life is short and you should do what you want to do, but smoking will make your life shorter and more painful toward the end even if it doesn’t cause the end – there is no question about it.
I know that ex-smokers are the worst at smoking lectures, but I’m honestly coming to you not as an ex-smoker, but as a cancer survivor. I don’t wish this stuff on my worst enemy, much less my best friends. I love you guys and anything I can do to extend our time together is important to me. Please, take a deep breath, and take a few minutes to re-read this email and really let this stuff sink in – I’m not making it up and it does apply to you. I will continue to ridicule you as long as you continue to smoke, not because I’m an ass ( I have other reasons for being an ass ), but because anything I can do to knock you down a little bit and remind you that this is the worst decision you can make in regards to your health – anything that I can do to extend our short time together, I will do and I will continue to do out of love.
Thanks for reading an uncomfortable email – I don’t expect it to be life-changing, but I can always hope that it might help in some way.
:Bill McDaniel
posted by Bill McDaniel at 9:00 AM
5 Comments:
Hi, Bill,
I just caught up on the past few days of your blog (I'm a loyal fan!) Let me tell you that your last entry hit me in the gut. My doctor would be so happy to read it! She told me that my birthday (March 3) was to be the day I quit smoking. Well. . .I have quit several times since then! I only toy with two or three cigs a day, but the point is I just can't seem to get my crap together enough to leap the wall and DO IT. Then I read your post; well, this round, my final attempt because I'm going to succeed, is dedicated to you. You are my hero, you know?
Thanks for the gruff great example and the tough words. . .some of us need a kick in the knickers periodically.
Also, we are ecstatic about all the good news for you this week!!
Finally, it's about time you wrote that ode owed to Stacy!
Love,
Jill
And it ain't just lung cancer, buddy. I wish my dad hadn't "enjoyed the pleasure" of smoking for the 50+ years he did. And I know he regretted it soon after being diagnosed with mouth/throat cancer.
His last few years were spent in agonizing pain while cancer ate away at the lower third of his face. He woke up and went to bed each night with the horror and stench of death staring him in the face every day. And he did it to himself.
Anyway, it's a fine line to walk. The one of caring and wanting people to snuff it out and give their bodies a fighting chance,and the one of offending, alienating, and frankly, pissing them off. We all want what is best for those we love and I'm so glad you gave it up, and am glad to hear your Dad is working on it too. You can do it Randy! :)
Congrats again, Bill, on the good reports. It's great to log on and read GOOD news.
xoxox,
Your favorite Auntie Jenn ;)
Hey Bill,
I'm really glad that everything is going well. Everyone here thinks about you a lot. I just finished reading your entry about smoking.
I'm glad you want to tell your friends about the dangers of smoking.It brings back a lot of memories about me trying to get your Dad to quit.In my humble opinion you will receive peace and hope if you make positive changes in your own life.Hopefully these changes will be an inspiration to others and lead to changes in their lives as well. I have never been a big fan of trying to scare someone into doing something.If you have read the Left Behind series you quickly come to realize that these books are trying to scare you into believing in Christ.
While this might work in the short term, in the long term basing your faith on the example others will provide you with a stronger faith
I don't disagree that smoking is a terrible habit and can lead to many health complications, but your great grandfather smoked his whole life. He died at age 78 but if he hadn't smoked would he have lived longer? I don't know but maybe grandad could shed some light on this question. Boy, I'm really getting out of control here.
I'm glad you're doing better.We all love you and wish you the very best.
Tim
Hi Bill: This is one of Megs friend. Martha, my boyfriend and I came to your place and went to the drive in which by the way we should do it again!!! i just wanted to say that i love ure email on smoking. Everybody that doesnt smoke and has friends that do feel the same way! We always want to speak up. I recently had a friend who died of Leukimia, and i dont understand how people can hurt themselves by doing something like that. Hopefully they will realize and stop eventually.
I am also very glad ure doing great! i read ure blog all the time!! and i find the pictures very funny.
Hope to hang out with u and meg
soon!!
bye,
Martha G
Ok kids...
I have never been a smoker, so here's some non-ex-smoker testimonial: you are ALIVE. Why run the risk of habitually partaking in ANY behavior that may or may not cut your days short? It's as simple as that. It's hard to be grateful for something after it's gone-- instead, you feel robbed of something you thought belonged to you without ever noticing first that it was a gift worthy of being cherished. Like breathing. Which you can't do if you have lung cancer.
Although Bill's entire Blog entry and everyone else's comments are high-tension and border-line offensive to smokers, I want anyone reading to please take it as tough love. Brent, I want us to be old together. Dad, I want you to see my kids' kids. Bill, I swear to you, if you EVER rejoin the McDaniel Smokers' Club, I will kick YOUR ass. I might be little, but have you seen these guns?
And Dad, we DO love you unconditionally. That's a ridiculous claim to make. Reprimand of a life choice does NOT mean lack of love-- you can't hide behind the excuse that reprimand equates to hatred or any emotion derived from it. The contrary. We simply a plead for you to stay with us longer so we can love you longer. It's not about us blaming, hating, judging-- it's about you and how much we love you.
Bill's friends, my relatives, others who are reading for kicks... No one's mad at you because you smoke. No one's judging you. We're just loving you, and sometimes that's hard to see through the dense emotions attached to confrontation.
Thank you for being in my brother's life. You don't know how much he lives for you, each of you. He just wants to return the favor-- something some of us can relate to, something that others of us will see one day.
Post a Comment
<< Home